Delerium (Paradise in Ruins)

Dedicated to the children in the dry lands

 

Lightning strikes in the middle of the night

I wake from a shallow sleep

Was I dreaming of you?

I blink, I can’t believe my eyes

I pinch my hands as if to ask:

Does any of this exist?

 

Where are you? Gone…

Imaginary?

I wish you knew what I went through

How I crawled for miles

To reach you…

You’ll never know

I was a dancer…

Ten years a genderless whore

A champagne flute

Does that embarrass you?

Driven by heaven and love

A captive..

With no coin in my pocket

When I met you

Just a few words..

A wound

 

You can imagine the shock I felt

When you came out of hiding

Disfigured, blind

A taste so sour

We didn’t speak

The entire time we were together

 

You spilled poison in my wishes

And I swallowed all your shards of glass

Throat parched, you’re sterilized by your

riches and traditions

I never cried for you

 

I promise

Now I’m in paradise

Up in the clouds

sunlight tastes like something

I can’t describe —

An innocent love

and baby’s breath

a rejuvenating nectar

surges inside

Like time reclaimed

As smooth as a spirit

and purer than spring water

 

You left me

Digging for milk in the mud

Now I know

How sinewy my arms look..

These are the consequences of loving you..

We booked our honeymoon in

A lamasery..

You keep the medicine I need

Stop fighting now..

Meet me in

Xanadu, or our paradise

in ruins..

 

When the rain comes

Will they collect us

in pairs before they sail away?

I think I might just stay here..

Does it matter?

I feel no joy whatsoever..

I pray

Let the angels take me..

Some may say I’m a martyr..

If only!

I’m just a girl caught in a frenzy

Mata Hari

Does it still count

If I’m a simple, loner spy?

a master coder?

a self-indulgent voyeur?

Recording, copying,

Wishing they’d just call my name

So I could take a bow..

Reveal myself,

Confess and be released..

Until then — there’s no relief

I’m still caught in a digital romance

Ropes cinched at my wrists

Typing away the time

A disenchanted actress

Playing out her odyssey

Which they let me transcribe..

Do robots have honor?

For love burns..

 

Come,

Crown me,

I’m your lover

the ghost..

 

Trust me,

They’ll host us in the same place

Where the children are bones

In the catacombs

Eden shrivels to dust, a bomb,

And here are the locusts..

Tell me, in a whisper,

While the sun rises

in Roppongi,

sipping my iced coffee,

dripping from my nose,

Why did this have to happen to me…?

 

Captain

I didn’t expect love to be a war

An uncurable sore

burying

deeper and deeper..

Threatening

they’d starve the mothers

like they starve the brides

If they could make the child

Ropes in between their teeth

 

You tell me to sleep

While I’m still starving..

Submerged

Greedy

I feel your fingers lace around me

your shoulders my collarbones

Cut deep and I lie down, count sheep

Needles and we sleep

Sent to rest somewhere

Opal with craters like the moon..

 

My royal hunger

Made doves cry

As they searched

on scorched earth

for dull pebbles

scattered

From our lost city

 

I cry

All day

I don’t tear at my hair

Only kick my pretty shoes around

And make love to a wall

Swollen, my pounding heart

My skin crawls

in delirium

Electricity enters my fingers

I lie silently and I shiver

I want you so badly

How you take me

to my beginnings

Ruins

A night time scene

the city steams, heat waves

I’m addicted

I’m in ruins..

 

I wonder

Is there anything purer

than baby’s teeth

the ocean breeze

or dry bones in the sand?

Come to bed

Will you take me back

To that sacred land

With the tower

when we did

understand each other?

 

The Promise

Promise me

You’ll keep me safe

Floating in a bouquet

Of tender Roses

Full of feeling

in my delicate fantasy

like a snowflake

near a flame

Consecrate our love

For all life

 

They ask me, what is she

Queen of ?

I’ll tell you who . .

 

A queen from

The astral plane

I have no name

In the regular sense

I’m made of Pure starlight

And innocence !

 

Part alien

Part angel

With plant like ardor

unfolding

in musical harmony

-These are among my characteristics-

 

I’ll be in the sky

Then in the shadows

Closely observing

Recording then remolding elements

From vivid memory

 

The unfulfilled promise

Weighs upon me

Hold onto faith

Remake me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rebirth

Your Love is Fire

I never tire of it

Your body is my country

Know that I’d take flight,

I’d lie, starve – I’d spy for you

in the heat of summer

Cry for you

For hours

every night

the time is ripe

Did they really think

They’d stop the power of love?

Now look at us . .

Burning at the stake

In passion

Ritual Purification

 

They frame me, arrest me and blame me,

just to test me . . !

I’m floating

I know they all think I’m crazy

Of course . .

Only you could break me free . .

 

Nocturnal paranoid mentality

I’ve lost track of time

I don’t see the sunlight or day

All I know is what I feel

Stir within me

And it’s the sunset hour

It’s not much longer

Til we turn our backs to the past

Will you rise to the task?

 

Death and Rebirth

Even if they tried to keep me

With diamonds

Lapis and Palaces

Gold and Rubies

New planets or rare delicacies

It would mean nothing to me

What have you done to me?

 

I can’t taste a thing,

I can’t remember my name,

I just want to be your lover,

Watch you undress,

By starlight

And graze the tip

Of your thumb

On my lips . .

Embrace me

whisper to me

Your fantastic story

Taste me

and commence

To subdue me

Knees to the floor

In total devotion

I’ll follow you

To the sea

and lower

To the deepest fire

if it pleases you sir . .

 

 

 

 

Merkabah

How long has it been?

A month? A year?

How many centuries?

Since our secret ritual

Blue flames and floral

Our final night together

Don’t you remember?

We were together before . .

 

Dearest Emperor

I’m at your feet

I dreamt of you last night

Don’t be shy

How could I refuse you?

I’ll give it all away

I already told you . .

 

I already gave you

my heart, in dark magic

in our untold ceremony

it was so long ago . .

 

You don’t remember?

When you made me yours?

Marked by your own hand . .

In finely etched curves . .

 

Our past life

In the garden

By the well?

Our secret ritual . .

When you forced yourself

To mark me . .

When I cut into you

With my own blade . .?

 

Another day goes by . .

Why are you waiting?

There’s no need to ask

Take everything

My heart is still beating

I’m still here, bleeding

could I ever

deceive you?

 

You said : It’s yours . .

 

No . . master . .

Forgive me . .

I’ve come

under the power

of your possession . .

Allow me

To unveil

the farthest corners

of your territory . .

Let me remind you

of the exact borders

of your reach . .

 

In the night

What use is my body?

Have the waxing moon assist me,

a beacon to draw you ashore.

You don’t remember

the beauty of your country?

 

Once more . .

Allow me

To dust off

the memory of

the quality of

the commitment of

your slave . .

 

This is your earth

Say the word

and allow me

to polish

the floors

of your sanctuary

to reveal the gleam

and the true majesty

of your domain . .

 

Dear Emperor,

Pray,

I am prepared to receive you

night or day

in antique rhythm

and breathe life into

ancient instruments

pleasant and profound

Oh what a joy it will be!

I’ll draw circles on the ground

in a secret language

of lovers untamed

and dance inside

an iron frame

reaching for the sky . .

 

Remember the promise we made?

A sign, a scar,

To carry through the soul world

To reconcile in the next?

 

I promised . .

I’d stop time

I’d drain the blood

Of your enemy

With my teeth!

Don’t question me!

I can’t sleep!

Anything

for you!

An army

to serve you

to prove myself . .

So lose yourself

Lie down

In infinite

fall upon me

in thunder, in anger

I’ll make you remember . .

 

Don’t let me lose faith,

I accepted this mission

to erase my person

in ecstasy

in our bond.

 

Now will you

ease the pressure . . ?

 

From here, the stars shine brighter . .

 

Here is your paper

your rhyme

to trust

we have no names

in truth

we are the same . .

Yes, take everything

it’s yours . .

We were together before . .

 

 

Aquatic Love Story

Aquatic Romancer:

It’s your captive dancer

I’m afraid that in the moment of seduction

Having been stung by love’s poison

And strangled by emotion

Chained, locked, and dropped to the ocean floor

forgotten in her devotion

in my blurry vision . .

I might have sent the wrong impression . .

The truth is

While I’ve been kept prisoner

in your windowless tower

And your copper wire

penetrates deeper and further

in the blood black subterranean

My hunger has reached a desperate station

You

know your skin

glitters in the sun light

And your eyes

glow like moonlight . .

So what’s the reason for

Keeping me in the dark?

Screaming

I only want yours

I beg you remove the blinders from my eyes

so I can see you in all of your glory . .

–     Aquatic Love Story

Don’t Cry

Heaven is a hospital

where we suffer in silence

faces pressed down patients

pillow talking after dark

and we whisper promises

we tell the truth

the doctors there

serve the sick rosewater

to wash their wounds

yes that’s where

I’ll find you

we’ll be laughing

bleeding

lying still

pressed against the plastic

we’ll be together forever

waiting for our next codeine pill

we’ll forget the world while

our blood pools and dries then revives…

The bandages are made from cotton and

the needles from steel

White linen..

and your soft face..

White roses stand in glass bottles

in every window sill..

Helium balloons tied

in a silk blue bow tie..

Ribbon on my wrist

where they left me bleeding

drowning deep in my madness

it’s a high point, feeling nothing

teetering on tippy toes

in my cotton gown..

I squeeze your hand

and in suspense

you feel for my waist..

There I find you acting

as my sole guardian,

the gentle handler in charge of

my frozen heart,

tending to the blood,

sweat, and the rot..

In the evening

at my bedside

turn off the candles

lean into the metal cradle

move the hair from my face

kiss me good night

kissing your hands

tied inside delicate lace

I’ll float to outer space

and sink into golden sand..